Tips from the Mother of the Bride

Finding One’s True Love.
And Living Happily Ever After!

As a mother, I dreamed of what my daughters’ weddings would be like. Whom would they marry? Where would it be? How many guests? Whom to invite? Are they right for each other? Will they live happily ever after? And so on. Which mother doesn’t?

As an image consultant, I helped the bride and bridesmaids choose the perfect wedding dress and bridesmaids’ dresses, guided the groom, groomsmen, and wedding party on the best choice for their attire. I also provided feedback on the colour scheme, flowers, hall décor and more. I am thankful for the opportunity because working with the bride and groom provided me wonderful insights on how they work together as a couple. It was truly an amazing experience and journey to watch them grow through the process. I can only wish for every mother of the bride to have the same experience as I have.

Angèle’s tips for Mothers of the Bride

1. Always have your daughter’s best interest at heart. It is her special day…help her make it happen. Help her find the perfect wedding dress ~ the perfect dress that will put a smile on her face. As my husband said later on ”When she walked out of the change room with the dress, it finally hit me that she was really getting married. She looked so radiant and beautiful that it took my breath away. I knew that dress was it!”
2. Be very careful not to overstep your boundaries. Remember: This is not your wedding and about your regrets. Every bride and groom face difficult decisions while planning a wedding ~ some decisions are harder to make than others. Share your own experience, ideas and suggestions if requested but in the end, let the bride and groom make the final decision without judgement and pressure. Remember that it’s not the decision that the bride and groom actually make that is important. It is the manner in which they handle the situation that makes the difference … respectfully and honourably.
3. Embrace your future son-in-law as a true son …and his culture if it’s different than yours. As the population in Canada is becoming more multi-cultural, it is to be expected that many of our children will potentially marry out of culture and out of faith. It is a reality for the new generation, and one that we, as parents, had to face when our daughter got married. We decided to embrace it and while doing so we met the nicest and kindest people we could hope for. We found we had a lot more in common than not. And that we are not that different after all! My mother-in-law, a very wise woman, once said “Angèle, when you first came in the family, it was not about the fact that you were Greek or not. Catholic or Orthodox. It was about how good of a person you were and how you treated my son”. So true!
4. Supervise the bridal party ~ Not everyone who accepts to be a maid of honour or bridesmaid knows what this title entails. It can be quite overwhelming for anyone who has never had the experience. And in some cases, it may end up being way more time, effort and especially money than anticipated. Be there for them and help them stay on top of their duties ~ gently guide them if needed. You may be able to provide suggestions on how to make it simpler and less costly. If you are able to, offer to cover some of the expenses.
5. Shop early for your “mother of the bride” dress. While shopping for my own dress, I was surprised to see how many mothers of the bride were struggling to find a dress so close to “the” wedding. Give yourself a lot of time because finding the perfect mother of the bride dress is more time-consuming than buying an everyday dress. Don’t wait till the last minute or you will be frustrated and frazzled. I shopped a full year ahead to find my dress with a close friend of mine that always provides me with her unbiased feedback. As mother of the bride, it is customary for you to have the first pick in the colour you would like to wear. Discuss with your daughter to see if she has any expectations in regards to the colour.
6. Be grateful for the “Father of the Bride” in your life ~ the father of the bride is too often forgotten in wedding preparation. Remember that this moment belongs to him also. It is a very emotional time for any Dad seeing his “little girl” getting married. We were blessed with a husband and a father that always knew what to say and do and was always there for all of us. To my husband George …thank you for your understanding, patience and support.

A dear friend of mine reminded me the other day about what my mother-in-law said to her when she asked her if she was concerned when my husband and I got married because we were from different cultural backgrounds and religions. My mother-in-law replied: “No, I never did. I knew that if I treated my daughters-in-law with respect and like a queen, they would treat my sons like a king”. And I must say that she always has treated us like queens. My sister-in-law and I were blessed with in-laws that accepted both of us from the beginning for who we were and treated us like “daughters”.

Many commented on how our newlyweds seemed to be meant for each other. I agree. I believe they have found one’s true love and that they will live happily ever after! Now, I truly feel like a “Fairy Godmother” indeed!